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The Calm Before The Storm

I arrived home from work around 7:00 PM. Let the dog out and went upstairs to see if anyone was around. After changing out of my work clothes, I went back downstairs to get dinner started. It was normal for no one to be home around that time. Our busy and often hectic household schedule revolved around taking care of our young son, school activitites and work - a typical American lifestyle.

The phone rang around 7:30 PM and I picked it up: Hello? Hey, it’s me. I’m calling to let you know that I moved out today and I’m at my mothers. Do you have Zack with you? Yes. Well bring him home. No, you come pick him up. Its too late, I’ll get him in the morning. OK. Click. That was the last conversation I had with my wife - and it was the kickoff of the most bitter and frustrating episode in my life I hope to ever know. I knew I had to act fast. If she decided to not bring our son back home, or to let me pick him up, I was going to be in a difficult situation. In hindsight, I should have left to pick up my son as soon as I hung up with my wife. But I held steady and waited until the next day and picked him up in the afternoon.

This was a risky move, but put out the message that I trusted her to make a level headed decision. The first night she was gone was a terrible one for me. Fitful sleep full of sweat and nightmares it was a very long night! More lng nights were to follow in the months to come. I realized that wanting a divorce is one thing, but when the first strike occurs you are really not quite ready for it.

During the weeks leading up to the big event, I sat down in the evenings with my wife and we prepared a list of items to include in a property settlement and custody agreement. We both signed the document after several sessions of lengthy and emotionally draining negotiations. I then left it up to her to take it to a lawyer to have it written up and submitted to the court.

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