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Depositions

This is where the lawyers get to ask you a lot of questions. They will ask you any and everything they can think of related to your case. I was totally flipped out about the process. Yes, No, I don’t know, I don’t recall. The lawyers will use your testimony from the deposition in the actual trial. Part of their job is to try to impeach your testimony during the trial using your responses from the deposition. It is not helpful for you at all if they can prove that you lied or can cast doubt in any way on your testimony.

Help your lawyer prepare questions that she will ask you during the deposition. You want to bring up a few good points about your spouse and a few bad points about yourself. Do not go overboard; just make sure that you have it on the record that your spouse is not a monster (unless she really is.) Judges do not like to see a spouse attacking the other. It can actually hurt the case of the person making the wild accusations.

During the deposition the opposing lawyer is going to validate information they have received in the production of documents and interrogatory stage of the game. They are also going to ask you questions that may have regarding your lifestyle from factors that may be in a private investigators report. Never assume that they don’t know about something. This isn’t the time to try to be cute or evasive.

Always be direct and to the point when responding to a question. I was evasive on a few responses and that just opened up a new thread for the opposing lawyer to follow to get to the bottom of things. If I had just answered “Yes,” it would have derailed her and we could have moved on. It would have also shaved 30 minutes or more off of the entire process.

Opposing lawyer asks you a question. You must listen to the question. Pause to think about it, give shortest response possible.

Yes, No, I don’t know, I don’t recall.

Remember that they probably know more about you than you think, so be honest. Or short of that, pick a good lie and stick to it. The best way to put that is: “Never change your story, even when faced with evidence to the contrary.” Never, ever change your story.

If the opposing lawyer is worth her fee, she will also ask you considerable questions regarding custody. Expect questions such as these.

Q. Do you feel that your spouse is unfit to be the primary custodian of your children?

Q. Why should you have custody?

Q. What are your qualities that make you a better parent?

Q. Do you have anything positive to say about your spouse as a mother?

Make sure you order transcripts from the deposition. Your lawyer should ask that this be done, but you must confirm. This is your fight; keep your head in the action.

Next: Trial