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Dirty Tricks

Most divorce lawyers will resort to any means necessary to win their case. In my case, they tried a number of things.

Before we had gone to court for a hearing to decide on issues while the case was pending (“pendite lite”) I did not let my wife exercise visitation unless both lawyers had signed a document specifying the exchange date, duration, time of exchange and exchange location. I am confident that her lawyer was capable of any trick she could think of in an attempt to gain some sort of competitive footing. Up to and including taking my son for a visit and not bringing him home.

I discovered that my spouse was taping all of our face-to-face conversations. They hired a PI to follow me around.

In her crossbill she presented allegations ranging from murder to alcoholism, verbal abuse, threats of physical violence and that she left the marital home out of fear.

Never underestimate the lows that some people will sink to!

Speaking of worst-case scenarios, the worst possible situation that you can find yourself in, and a common tactic a wife and her lawyer will use, is abuse. Their claim will be that you are a physical, sexual or mental abuser. Be ready for it. They might claim “constructive desertion.” (When you have acted in such a way as to have abandoned the marriage but still live in the same home.)

Judges are beginning to tire of this same story, but you still have to make sure you are covered. You must keep a log of your every activity. Think of it as a running alibi, it could save your butt.

More than one spouse has fabricated a story by bashing her head on a wall, then calling the police. The spouse appears before the magistrate, gets a warrant for your arrest and an immediate restraining order is entered. You didn’t do anything, but when you come home they arrest you. You are out of the house and are officially hosed. Following that there will be an emergency custody hearing and you will be stripped of the kids and your house. You will pay child and spousal support, the mortgage payments on the marital home, and any all debt payments.

I was terrified that she was going to pull this trick on me. I would call my parents in the morning to talk for a little while. I took notes of my departure and arrival times. I actually made diary entries for each and every thing that I did during the course of my normal, uneventful life. This is a huge point.

Be sure to record in a diary or log everything that you do during the day.

You have a true fight on your hands if your spouse pulls dirty tricks on you. Avoid this situation at all cost and make sure you have your butt covered. If you are hit with any of these sorts of false allegations, remain calm and contact your lawyer ASAP.

Do not overreact and provide validity to their claims.

It will take some extra work, but your lawyer should be able to handle these types of situations since they occur so frequently.

And keep this in mind:

There is no need to resort to dirty tricks or tactics. Judges see them constantly and more often than not they come back to haunt the accuser.

News: Just heard from a friend today. His wife just pulled the abuse claim on him last week. He went to work in the morning and came home that evening to find a deputy in the driveway and the locks changed. My friend had to call another friend to go into the house and get his stuff out for him! This does happen and it happens frequently! It is the same crap played out over and over again. Motivate yourself to fight and do it. If you want to keep your kids and your house (and possibly out of jail) get your spouse out of the house. Some men are actually wising up and pulling this in reverse by calling the cops on their wives. Use your head.

Next: Filing for divorce