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Preparing to be a single parent

Studies indicate that unless there has been abuse, it is better that the child has exposure to both parents. That said, you have to take on both roles around the house if anything is going to get done and you are going to resume any semblance of a normal life.

Divorce is tough enough on you; think for a minute how devastating this can be for a child. They don’t have the experience that you do that helps you put things into perspective. Life for them is what you have made it. Now one of the people that have been 50% of their world is not going to live with them anymore.

If they hear you talking about money, they will worry that there is not going to be any food, no more toys, they might lose their house. Will they have to move? Is all of their stuff going to be there? You need to take them out of the house while your spouse is getting all of her stuff out. My Son and I were able to go stay with my parents for three weeks. At the end of this period, he was anxious to return so he could check on all of his stuff.

Before your child’s return to the home, make sure the house is clean and in order.

If she removed a lot of furniture, you are going to have to get more. Don’t worry about buying new stuff. Go to a thrift store or look in the local paper for garage sales or people that are looking to sell the things you need to acquire. For furniture, slipcovers do wonders and it will make old furniture look new at a very low comparative cost.

Do not make any drastic decisions.

Do not sell the house. Keep things as clean as possible, keep the grass mowed. Gradually start to update the look in the house. Get the kid involved and update a common area in the house. Try putting a fresh coat of paint in the room where you gather most, such as the living room or TV room. Leave the kids rooms alone for a while.

You are shooting for stability and dull predictability. (Note: I didn’t mention boring.)

Next: Personal Habits